BORDERING ON BPD

So last month, I was diagnosed with "traits" of Borderline Personality Disorder, which means that I currently do not present more than 5 symptoms of BPD to be diagnosed with "full whack" BPD, despite displaying signs of all of them in the past. Which I mean, is great. Over the years, I have learned how to manage myself and how I can be as I have felt incredibly let down about the lack of professional help that I have been able to access (post coming on this soon.) I've been sober from drink for almost two years and the same with drugs. I've have had to cut out these unhealthy coping mechanisms on my own back. They were not helping, no matter how much I thought they were at the time.

I still struggle with a lot of symptoms related to BPD. That is okay. Recovery isn't linear. I am still learning on not to rely on some of my other unhealthy coping strategies. But each and every day, I am learning more and more things about myself. That could be from learning triggers, coping techniques and learning that the first reaction isn't always the best reaction.

I felt uneasy at first, even though I had my suspicions about BPD already. There is a lot of stigma surrounding BPD which is totally unjustified. A lot of people do not understand BPD, so are quick to jump on the "you're crazy" bandwagon. However, now that I have had time to digest it. Yes, I have BPD, traits or not. Some days I may display more than the 5 symptoms, other days I don't. I found that a diagnosis has helped reassure me a lot, although I know not everyone feels that way. I have been able to do my own research at my psychiatrists request, joined a few support groups and I have found them so helpful and reassuring.

I am not alone.
I am not crazy afterall.